


To Touch the Light

by priama



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:49:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28746489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/priama/pseuds/priama
Summary: "Whoever succeeds me will need your help to guide them."Quaithe origin story.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> My personal delusional origin story about Quaithe. The character is My City Now until GRRM comes into my house and tells me no.
> 
> Her "original" name is a botched pronunciation of her canon name. I have no idea how George chooses names for his characters so I am literally just throwing darts until they stick.

"Bloodstone! Blood eye!"

The Empress in her fury throws the nearest object to her -a full ink bottle- against her large mirror. The looking glass shatters and her attendants whimper and cover their faces, bumping into each other as they try to get as far from her fury as possible. Only the scribe remains relatively calm, lamenting in silence over the ink spills that stain the glass shards and seep into the rug.

She doesn't blame her Empress in the slightest. After the vile scroll she received (which she was obligated to read out loud at the behest of her lady), it was hard to do so.

Getting up to salvage whatever scrolls she can before her lady tears at them in her wrath, she makes sure to keep her head low and work as quick as possible. Father never mentioned how distressing this position could be. Always talking about the honor of the role as scribe and never once mentioning how one sometimes had to endure her superior's destructive moods. Though she supposes it was much better than being forced into a marriage to a man thrice her age.

"I have been nothing but a good sister to that wretch since his birth. I have even played the role of mother to him. Had I foreseen this insolence from the start, I would have choked the life out of him in the cradle!"

The attendants gasp at the cruelty of the words but teeter away when she stomps to and fro, lilac silks following behind her like a shadow. The scribe herself is almost ran down, had it not been for her quick reflexes to stop and stay in place when the Empress marched in her direction. Swiftly dashing to the other side of the room, she shoves scrolls into their respective vaults and reaches for a new ink bottle. From the corner of her eye she stares at the missive responsible for her Imperial Radiance's violent outburst, but looks away just as quick, swallowing down the dread it causes her. Such a letter deserved to be cast to the fire.

"What will her Radiance do?" a fat courtier asks behind his fan.

"Send the army, says I!" the commander of the guards exclaims "My men will gladly drag the miscreant to the throne room and make him beg for Her Radiance's forgiveness."

Another chimes in "An army to deal with only one man? Preposterous notion. Have you forgotten the recent upheavals across the land?"

"If this false emperor isn't dealt with soon, the people will besmirch the Empress' rule. Tales will spread and soon the entire realm will collapse in anarchy!"

"Tales have been spreading since before Her Radiance's rule. Perhaps give the brother an office and have him join her side?"

"Rather, pay your ill begotten brother no mind, your Radiance. Don't grace him with a reply. Make him feel just how utterly unimportant and small he is."

The courtiers waste no time to break into arguments, speaking over each other with no one really listening. The scribe stokes the fire and once a flame licks upwards, she casts the venomous parchment into it. The paper rolls and twists into itself, cinders at the edges turn to soot and ash until at last the dreadful letter is no more.

She is quick to notice how even amidst the cacophony, the Empress seethes in silence, her back turned to the room. A tinge of worry pricks at the scribe and she discreetly turns to look over her shoulder. The Empress stares off into the horizon, her brow knit into a frown. There's a glint in her eyes that, though the scribe cannot express, makes her palms turn cold.

_She sees something more. Something she doesn't tell._

The Empress meets her stare and the scribe immediately bows her head.

-

Another missive arrives three days later. The false emperor brings his entourage from beyond the Five Forts. Another ink bottle is thrown and shattered. The scribe bites her lip.

"And he's wed! Against my consent and orders, he's wed and brings his wife's army into my realm!"

The courtiers speak amongst themselves.

"There are rumors saying his bride is a monstrous tiger creature from the heart of the Grey Waste."

"Could it be that he offered her his seed in exchange for a crown?"

"A crown that's not his to begin with! Your Radiance, I insist to let your army meet him and bring him in chains."

The scribe picks the glass shards in her hands, one by one, staining her palms pitch black. Her eyes wander to the desk where she spots the edge of the parchment.

 _Poison seeped in paper._ She crumples the note in her blackened hands, not daring to look at it. As long as she doesn't look at it, it would be fine.

"I say her Radiance calls upon her lords and makes them raise their banners and swords." The fat courtier offers "Have them meet the false emperor half down the road and tear at his defenses."

"My lords?" The Empress barks, fury building at her throat. Her nails dig into the edge of the table, knuckles going white. "What lords? Vultures and sycophants the lot of them! They revel in the opportunity to stab me in the back and my thrice-damned brother would be pleased to offer them the chance!"

The fat man flaps his fan nervously "Your Radiance doesn't know that..."

"I don't know?!" Her voice is shrill and loud like thunder. The other attendants flinch, including the scribe. "Of course I know! I know everything that's happening in my realm. I know the things said about me in alleyways and markets. I know of the whispers plotting against me, to deliver me to my brother naked bound! I even know how you here would gladly sell me to him for whatever lowly price he offers!"

"Your Radiance-"

"Shut up." The Empress hisses. She is trembling in her wrath. "Shut up and get out of my sight. All of you. Now."

The courtiers trip over themselves to exit the room, deciding whether to bow or run out. The scribe kneels down at her desk, hands a mess of ink that have stained her own silken robes. She keeps her head bowed down but her eyes wander to her mistress. The Empress pins her down with a glare.

" _Out._ "

The scribe stands up swiftly, slamming her knee against the desk and runs out.

-

Her eyes fly open in the dark of the night.

_The shards. I left the broken shards on my desk and they fell when I hit my knee on the way out._

She sits up, untangling the scarf around her head and crawls on her hands and knees, feeling for her slippers. She could go fetch the broken shards and dispose of them in the morning, once her daily duties begin, but that would ear her an earful from the cleaning servants. Or worse, the Empress herself could walk in and injure herself with them, thus earning her a punishment worse than broken glass against bare skin.

Sliding the painted screen just enough for her to go out, she skids on the balls of her feet as to not make any noise. The cold night air makes her face hurt and eyes water, so she brings her scarf above her nose.

All is quiet in the palace, with servants snoring away in their quarters and sentinels on the floors below, ever watchful. As she reaches the large wooden doors of the Imperial Office, she stops in her tracks when she notices a strange light peeking through the bottom if the doorframe.

It isn't lantern light nor is it the fire place. Fire light is orange and warm. This light is... like a fog of sorts, as bright as the moonlight.

Is someone in there? A chill runs down her spine. Should she alert the guards? But what if it's a trap? A dreadful thought crosses her mind and she balls her hand into a fist at the fabric over her nose. Could the Empress' brother have arrived overnight? But how? He was still far away from the capital. Unless...

Rumors spread like sickness when the first venomous letter arrived. Some say the Empress' brother had cast down the true gods and began worshipping a black stone that fell from the sky, which, in exchange, granted him terrible powers far stronger than that of the warlocks of Qarth and more sinister than that of the shadowbinders of the east. Some whispered that he took to eating human flesh and practiced sinister rituals on friend and foe alike. If such rumors were true, who said it wasn't possible for him to suddenly appear within the castle in the blink of an eye?

"I know you're out there, girl." A voice rang out from the office and the scribe froze.

_How...?_

She made sure to slide out of her quarters silently and discreetly and she had kept to herself even outside the Imperial Office. She pressed herself to the walls and never once stood in front of the great wooden gates. And still she was spotted.

Half her mind told her to run back to her quarters and hide behind the dressers. The other half kept her pinned to the ground.

"Girl." The voice rang out again and she almost whimpered. "I know you're out there. Come inside."

The voice was commanding and they knew she was outside. Trembling hands pressed on the heavy wooden doors and pushed them open.

The light inside was strange. The whiteness that peeked below the door frame was so much brighter within the room, that she was forced to shield her eyes.

"Close the door." The voice ordered and she obliged.

She stood a moment in silence with her eyes shut tight until she started to feel the strange glow dim down. When she peeked behind her wrist she gasped. The Empress sat in the center of the office, her hair undone and disarray and her night robes disheveled. Surrounding her, were some tall and twisting candle like objects made of glass. The scribe quickly dropped to her knees and pressed her forehead to the rug.

"My apologies, your Radiance!" She squeaked "I did not know you were awake I- I swear I wasn't spying, my lady please forgive me!"

"Get up, girl." The Empress ordered, her voice half a bark and half a sigh.

The scribe did as she was told, albeit slowly, in fear of looking at her lady's eyes and staring back at her contempt. She stood up, her knees pressed together and her hands tightly clasped in front of her. She heard the strike of a flint and witnessed a familiar orange glow partially light up the room.

"Look at me, girl."

She sucked her lips, nervousness threatening to do her in, but she did as she was told. In lamp light the shadows played with the Empress' features. Her face was a black and orange mask of fatigue and scorn. The scribe's eyes dropped to the floor once more.

"What is your name, girl?"

She breathed in "Ku Hai-Te, my lady."

"You are Ku Han's child, are you not?"

"Yes, my lady."

"How old are you?"

"Five and ten, my lady."

"Why do you wear a scarf round your face?"

Ku Hai-Te swallows and pulls at the fabric over her nose. She is fortunate the orange glow of the lamp dimmed the redness of her cheeks.

"I am not good with the cold, my lady. The smallest chill makes my face hurt and my eyes water."

Silence. She timidly lifts her gaze to look at the Empress. She meets her lady's eyes and quickly looks down again.

"Do I frighten you that much, child?"

She's unable to answer that right away. She licks her lips and swallows, trying to figure out a way to reply.

"I was taught to not look directly at her Radiance, unless she directly ordered me to."

"Which I did."

Ku Hai-Te bites the inside of her cheek. She raises her eyes to meet the Empress' and doesn't look down again despite how much she wishes she could. Her lady's frown softens a smidge and though she can tell her disdain is not directed at her, she still decides to tread carefully.

"I bet you wonder what I was doing so late at night inside this office." The Empress says and grabs one of the twisted crystals in her hands. "I bet you wonder what these are."

"If her Radiance wishes to tell me, I will listen gladly."

"Hmph." The Empress weights the strange object in both her palms, running her fingers over the sharp ridges. "These are dragonglass candles. They allow me to see."

"See what?" Ku Hai-Te blurts out, forgetting herself in her genuine curiosity.

Her lady considers for a moment, pricking her nails with the tip of the candle. "Things. People. Secrets that are kept from me. This is how I know all that happens within the realm."

Ku Hai-Te is unsure what the Empress means but says nothing.

Her Radiance stands up and walks towards her. She towers over her and the scribe swallows hard as to not look down. Her lady presses the obsidian candle to her hands.

"You have to learn how to see, girl. And soon."

-

Soldiers swarm the palace halls, shouting orders at each other, climbing the battlements and readying their weapons as the sky burns red outside. Word from the Five Forts says a large enemy host -larger and crueler than the one waging war outside the palace- stands ready in the dunes of the Grey Waste. Even the women of the castle, from ladies in waiting to washerwomen, are made to carry blades and don armor plates. All hands are useful when the end of the world is at their doorstep.

Ku Hai-Te keeps a small knife hidden in her sleeve. She dashes from hall to hall, between soldiers and wailing servants. She wipes her teary eyes every so often (how is it that the air is freezing while the sky burns?) but never halts her steps, the cloak at her back follows her as a shadow and her scarf as a long, red tendril.

Pushing the heavy wooden doors of the Imperial Office, she finds the Empress being helped into her armor. Dark purple steel plates are bound over her chest, legs and arms. She wears war paint upon her face; a ferocious violet mask meant to intimidate her enemies. Her hair is tightly held together in a long braid. She shouts orders at her soldiers, only nodding in her direction when she sees her.

A soldier hands her her blade. Sharp and black steel folded many times over onto itself that one can see red ripples, and at the pommel, a large amethyst cut and shaped into a perfect sphere. The Imperial Sword. Only the descendants of the God-on-Earth were allowed to carry such a weapon. With it, they defended their people and slew their enemies. The final touch to her imperial regalia. The Amethyst Empress stood tall and proud.

"Any news, girl?" She calls out, snapping Ku Hai-Te out of her reverie. The latter bows.

"The enemy host outside the Five Forts hasn't moved. They stand on the defensive."

"Hmph. The usurper thinks to surprise me with his rag tag army. Let them be surprised when I send him back in chains and his bloodstone in his mouth."

She walks to the veranda that overlooks the gardens, left hand on the pommel of her blade.

"Everyone, out. I must meditate before I meet that treacherous brother of mine in the battlefield."

The soldiers and courtiers make for the exit. Ku Hai-Te bows and follows suit.

"Not you, girl."

She halts. As the last attendant leaves the office, she closes the door and turns to face her lady. The Empress keeps her back turned to her, back straight and shoulders squared. An imposing lilac figure with the crimson sky as a backdrop, the scene almost makes Ku Hai-Te shudder.

She approaches the Empress, wringing her hands and cocking her head to the side.

"Your Radiance?"

The Amethyst Empress turns her head over her shoulder and Ku Hai-Te stops in her tracks. The war paint and armor fail to hide the pained and frightened expression the Empress wears. Her eyes, the color of grapes, are glassy and the parts were the paint doesn't cover her skin are pale as sickness. The scribe's heart drops to her stomach.

"I will die tonight, at the hands of my brother. I will die, and an endless night will fall upon the world."

Her voice is a broken whisper, Ku Hai-Te can almost feel the knot at her throat.

"My lady?"

"There was nothing I could do. I tried and visualized many strategies but he always managed to writhe out and come out on top. The night always falls."

She steps down from the veranda, her glassy eyes disoriented and she heaves. Her mouth twitches from a smile to a frown and Ku Hai-Te wants to run away. The mighty Amethyst Empress that stood in this room just a while ago is gone, and in her place is a woman frightened out of her mind who teeters and threatens to collapse with every step she takes.

"Damn that awful man. Damn him and his soul three thousand times over!"

The scribe whines. "My lady..."

The Empress' wild stare pins her to her place and places her hands over her shoulders. It's impossible to look away. Impossible to run away.

"Girl, I need you to promise me something so listen to me and listen well."

The scribe nods, too shocked to proceed differently.

"I will die tonight and the night will fall. But you must leave. You must live."

"L-Leave where, my lady?"

"West." The Empress cracks something like a smile. "Chase the morning. Chase after the dawn. Remember the candle I gave to you? Take it. Take it with you and learn to see. In the east they will teach you how."

Ku Hai-Te can't make sense of what she's hearing. The Empress tightens the grip around her shoulders.

"Go west or go east? Your Radiance makes no sense..."

"I said listen, girl!" The Empress shakes her and she whimpers. "To go north, you must journey south, to reach the west you must go east. To go forward you must go back and to touch the light you must pass beneath the shadow."

 _She's gone mad. She's lost her wits._ Ku Hai-Te stares into the abyss of her Empress' eyes. Purple wine in a sea of red.

"Do you promise me, girl?" She shakes the scribe again "Do you promise?!"

"I promise!"

A moment of clarity takes over her Radiance's being as she finally smiles and softens the grip on her shoulders to finally let go. Temporary peace washes her features.

"Good girl. Now get your candle and leave."

The scribe makes for the door. As she swings it open, the Empress calls to her one last time.

"Learn to see, Ku Hai-Te. Whoever succeeds me will need your help to guide them."

The scribe nods over her shoulder before running off.

-

Her legs ache terribly with every pounding step. Her throat is on fire and there's thunder in her lungs. And yet she keeps on running. Screaming and singing steel ring loudly behind her but she never looks back. She has to live. She has to see the sunrise.

A rain of arrows falls from the crimson heavens and yet she miraculously skids past them, always a step ahead of death. Always surviving the soldiers that collapse to their deaths at her side.

She clutches the tall dragonglass candle against her chest. It's edges threaten to slice through fabric of the scarf she used to wrap it with, but even if it cuts her palms and fingers, she never once loosens her grip over it. Death surrounds her, the wind that slaps her face makes her eyes water that she no longer sees anything clearly, forcing her to move on instinct.

_To reach west I must go east. To reach west I must go east!_

She is close to leaving castle grounds. She has to go outside and climb the hills. If she's lucky she'll get there before the break of day. If she keeps running, she might make it out alive.

She turns to look back.

Amongst the bloodied sky and black smoke, she sees a mighty violet figure with sword in hand hacking and slashing at a dark and malignant shape. Amethyst against Bloodstone, sister against brother. The Empress overpowers the usurper in a dangerous waltz. She parries his blows and forces him back, wasting no time to hack and slash at his armor. The little brother miscalculates his time, falling over his feet and onto his back; that's when the imperial sword comes down and slashes out his eye. Ku Hai-Te's heartbeat turns to a flutter. Bloodstone screams and thrashes in the mud as he clutches the empty and mangled eye socket, much like a slug that has been sprinkled with salt. Amethyst stands over him triumphant, and the scribe believes for a minute that maybe she might not need to run away anymore.

"Your Radiance!" She cries out, smile gracing her face, only to be met with a manic look from her lady that dashes all her hopes.

"Idiot girl! I told you to lea-"

A black and bloodied blade bursts through the Empress' chest and an vacanr eye socket looks up at her much like a malignant, black eye.

Ku Hai-Te turns around and makes a run for the eastern gate as her tuned out screams herald the arrival of the Night.


	2. II

She drags the brush across the taut parchment, eyes squinting despite the light of her lantern.

Asshai devours the light that passes over it, swallowed by its massive, oily black walls. Light graces the shadow city only when the sun sits at its zenith, but it's always a dim glow that lasts no longer than an hour. She's grown used to the dark. After the world ended nine years ago in a bloodied sky, Ku Hai-Te had no other choice but to grow accustomed to the new, glum reality.

She finishes copying down the strange scripture she was commissioned and sets down her brush. Once the ink fully dries, she can roll it along with the other thirty two scrolls.

Asshai is a trading port and a city that allows every visitor and inhabitant to do as they please. She's witnessed moonsingers from the Jogos Nhai offering to teach their birthing songs in exchange for bones and spices, and pale warlocks trading bottles of a strange blue substance for other sorts of poisons. Even in the darkest hour of the night, while she lies on her pallet, she hears the ululating crescendo and grave chanting of shadowbinders practicing their strange and eerie rituals.

Ku Hai-Te is no different. Though she knows no spells or magic songs, she can read and write and that, too, is a coveted ability in this strange land. Teaching letters and numbers has earned her her daily meals. Registering some cult's incantations on parchment has made it able for her to learn foreign tongues. Even contributing to keeping numbers for trading sailors has earned her new sets of clothes and medicine for when she needs it. Every day in this bleak and quiet city is a busy day.

As she massages her wrists with fragrant oils to soften her ligaments and ease her bones, her patron walks into her kiosk. The woman is veiled, masked and stooped. Her false face is a lacquered mask the color of wine with carved lips and holes for the eyes. An unsettling visage but Ku Hai-Te must become used to it.

"You are done." The mask says. It's not a question, but a statement. The scribe nods.

"The ink needs to dry for the last scroll before you can take it with you. What shall I do with the original texts?"

The patron has moved to her side already, her hidden eyes examining the parchment.

"Crumbling and faded paper. Use it as kindling if you wish, it matters not." Ku Hai-Te sniffs.

They stay in silence for minutes. Outside, a black and shrouded palanquin is carried across the bazaar, it's dark curtains swaying with the movement. The scribe gets off her stool.

"About my payment..."

She opens a wooden chest that houses her belongings. Below folded linens and smaller boxes containing dried herbs and such other trinkets, she reaches for a package wrapped in red. Her old scarf is worse for wear, yet the obsidian within is intact. When she turns, her patron is already facing her, waiting patiently.  
She unwraps her package, revealing a twisting glass candle; it's edges are sharp against her fingers.

"My mistress knew how to light this candle and others like it." She explains. "It showed her things others couldn't see and instructed me to learn how to do so myself."

"Where is your mistress now?"

Ku Hai-Te doesn't reply.

"...I see."

The purple mask extends a skeletal finger to touch the obsidian edges but Ku Hai-Te pulls it back to her chest.

"Very well." The patron tells her, retracting her arm to her side, unfazed by the reaction. "I'll teach you how to see."

-

They kneel on the cold slab floor of her kiosk with the lights of lanterns offering little glow in the darkness. Asshai is always bleak and the only way one knows the difference between night and day is when one is too tired to stay awake. A cold breeze enters through a gap of her window, making the bridge of her nose pulsate and her eyes water.

Ku Hai-Te tries to balance the candle to sit vertically, shooting her ink stained hands forward when it topples over. The maegi sits in front of her, unmoving, resembling a hunched, hooded totem. It takes a few tries to get the candle to stand. Once it stays still, Ku Hai-Te positions herself straight, hands on her lap, waiting for her tutor to speak.

"Why do you wish to see what the candle shows?"

Of all questions to expect, the why of her wanting was not something she thought she would have to explain. Ku Hai-Te blinks, looking up at the purple mask, processing her words.

"Because my mistress asked it of me."

"Your mistress perished nine years ago, her empire falling with her." Her tutor voices her untold secret, startling her. "The dead cannot collect any debts."

Ku Hai-Te opens and closes her mouth, unsure of what to say. Without mentioning that this hooded stranger looked into her past, the words she spoke also held a truth she had not considered. The Great Empire had crumbled onto itself the same night the Bloodstone usurper struck the Amethyst Empress through the back, spilling her holy blood upon the ground below a sky as equally red. She remembered the empty socket akin to a malignant black eye looking at her as she fled. She had been the sole survivor, the last remnant of what once was the most powerful nation to have graced the world, for those who stayed were slaughtered, disappeared or forced onto their knees. Bloodstone reigned over bones and ashes and Ku Hai-Te was free of debt just as she was destitute. There was no reason to latch on to a promise made back when the world was still whole.

_But that's not it._

"My mistress saw something." She explains, considering her words, brows knitting together. "She wouldn't tell what it was but it upset her greatly."

She recalls wine colored eyes, distraught and inconsolable, with a burning sky at their back; nails digging deep into her shoulder as if trying to latch onto a lifeline in an ocean of despair. That expression haunted her even in the gloom and quiet of Asshai.

"Until the rest of us saw it, too. But by then it was already too late."

Her eyes grow moist. It must be getting colder.

"I want to learn how to see so I can know what afflicted her so greatly." _So I can prevent it from happening again._

The purple mask says nothing, her dull eyes on her at all times. She does not judge, she does not praise.

"Honesty is necessary." The mask explains. "For seeing is perceiving the truth exactly as it is."

Ku Hai-Te rubs her eyes.

"That said, you still need more kindling."

She sniffs, paying close attention. The mask lifts up three fingers for Ku Hai-Te to see.

"First comes purpose. Honesty. The truth within the depths of your heart." She curls a finger.

"Second comes your bodily essence. You cannot get something without paying for it. There must always be something of yours to give in return." Another finger curls, leaving a bone thin index pointing upwards.

"And third comes the light. Knowing where you're going is preferable to being lost, and in the shrouds of uncertainty, even the smallest of embers can be like the sun." Her fingers close into a fist.

Ku Hai-Te stares unblinking and ponders the words of her tutor. _Three elements to light a candle and I already have used one._ Her watery eyes drop to the candle at the center of the room.

Second comes her bodily essence. _Blood._ In this cruel and uncaring world, one has to bleed for what they want.

Third is the light. _Fire._ The reason she can see the maegi in front of her is due to the lanterns in the corners of her room.

Determined to follow through, Ku Hai-Te takes a deep breath and wraps her fingers around the tip of the glass candle. She tightens and twist her grip until the edges tear at her palm. She winces but keeps her stance until blood drips down the candle like red wax.

She lets go to suck at the cuts, swallowing down salt and copper, before reaching for the flint. She strikes the match with some difficulty and covers the dancing ember with her healthy hand to take it to the candle's edge.

A sudden gust whistles inside the room, extinguishing the lights of her corner lanterns and leaving both women in complete darkness. A shrill gasp emerges from her throat and she falls backwards in shock, when a blinding white light akin to the silver moon shoots from the tip of the candle and spills all over the room; into the ceiling, the walls and the floor, engulfing her in a vision that projects all around her.

First she sees a massive and terrible trapezoid gate looming over a green, glowing river and twisted ruins that she can't bear to look at for so long. The gate opens with a reverberating groan that rumbles the foundations of the earth, to what she thinks is the edge of the world, for violent blackness and storm take her by force and within that terrible void, stars burst into a red, lacquered mask; familiar, glassy eyes stare at her own and when they blink, the vision switches to fourteen gaping mouths that spit molten rock and fire around her. From the valley they encircle, tall towers spiral upwards and flames grow mighty wings that soar into the clouds. She sees thousands of faceless slaves digging for precious ore within the sulfuric mines and nine cities sprouting from the grasslands on the west. She sees a young maiden with silver in her hair, thrashing and turning on a mattress with a sleek sheen of sweat staining her forehead. When the girl opens her wine colored eyes in dread, the vision rapidly drains off the walls and ceiling and back into the candle, leaving Ku Hai-Te panting, with her back on the floor.

"Now you have seen the truths to come." Her tutor says, voice echoing like a breeze. Ku Hai-Te quickly scrambles upwards, feeling for her flint. She struggles to strike it due to her wounded hand.

"Now you know what to do."

She finally manages to light up one of the lanterns but when she turns to her tutor, the purple masked maegi is gone.


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the woman with a monkey's tail of YiTish legend is a reference to the Monkey King from the Chinese epic "Journey to The West", hence the name I used, if with a weird spelling. George is all about weirdly spelled names, anyway.

The flow of time is difficult to measure in Asshai, where day and night cannot be told apart and ominous practices continue on as the rest of the world rises and falls. In fact, a common saying among the natives (can that word be used in a city where children are never born?) is that Asshai has stood since the world began and it will stand until it ends. For all it's worth, time might as well have stopped existing all together in the lands of shadow.  
  
The only tools Ku Hai-Te has to measure the passing of time are the changes her body has gone through (her increased height being the most notorious characteristic, and her aching bones), the knowledge she's amassed since coming here (perfected several methods of divination since the vision in her kiosk, mastered the use of poisons and has found other more mystical uses to her inks and brushes) and the growth of parasitic ghost grass, native to the outskirts of the city.  
  
Nine years since she first lit the dragonglass candle. Eighteen years since her homeland's demise. Now a woman of three and thirty, Ku Hai-Te was regarded as a native Assha'i.  
  
She breaks into a coughing fit, shielding her mouth and nose with the edge of her scarf. Her ribs rattle violently, her throat threatens to combust and her sight goes glassy and wet. She tries to gasp for air but the coughing overtakes her and she feels her lungs deflate. Her brushes roll onto the floor and ink spills as she suffocates and aches all over.  
  
A Ghiscari sailor shoves a goblet of tepid water into her hands; water kept in a tankard and brought from across the sea, for food and drink native to the Shadow Lands is poisonous and foul to taste. She swallows it down, droplets rolling down her chin and neck. The coughing eases and she can breathe again, but her chest ends up sore, fatigued and aware of her pulsating joints.  
  
This is the third time this happened today and a frequent occurrence from the start of the moon turn.  
  
"If you are sick you can't stay here." The sailor warns "Can't bring illness into the ship."  
  
"Let me finish the numbers here. I am almost done and-"  
  
"Leave now. Or my men will drag you out."  
  
"But I need the water." She pleads. Her voice has become small and scratchy.

"You want water? Fine." The sailor pulls the cork out of the tankard and liquid comes pouring out onto the planks. He plugs the cork back on and shoves she barrel towards her.  
  
"That's your water. Half the tank for unfinished work. Now get out."  
  
She swallows an insult, packs her belingings and leaves.

-  
  
The port is filled with ships from across the Jade straits yet there is no racous noise like in common trading cities. The only noise is muttering from merchants and buyers and the occasional murky waves crashing against the hulls. Such is the way of shadowy Asshai.  
  
Despite being half empty, the barrel feels heavy on her back, and the water sloshing with every step she takes does no favors to her aching spine.  
  
She treads along a black road in the haze of the city, feet dragging and her mind sulking when she feels a coughing fit build up behind her throat. She collapses on her knees and takes her scarf to her mouth. The coughing is violent, threatening to break her ribs and joints, to expell her insides from her mouth, and wringing tears out of her eyes. She tries to support herself with a hand on black and oily stone until she feels the weight on her back disappear.  
  
A young woman takes the tankard, unscrews the cork and tilts it forward. Ku Hai-Te cups her hands while still coughing and desperately drinks the tepid liquid that collects in her palms.  
  
"Drink up, auntie." The stranger tells her kindly. The name she calls her is familia; not something that has been said to her but something she's heard a life time ago.  
  
With every drink, the coughing eases until she can breathe once more. Taste of metal is felt at the back if her throat but she scoffs it away.  
  
The stranger puts the cork back on the barrel but her eyes never move from Ku Hai-Te.  
  
"Thank you." Her voice is a weak rasp.  
  
"Where is your caravan?" the stranger offers "I can help you get there."  
  
"I have no caravan. I live here by myself."  
  
The young woman gasps at her confession. Ku Hai-Te stands up and while she puts the barrel on her back, she takes a good look at the woman.  
  
She is at least ten years younger than her, on the short side, but makes up for her lack of height in muscled arms and legs. Her eyes a bright and on her head she wears a hat with a monkey tail's hanging and swaying at the back.  
  
"You're from the Empire." Ku Hai-Te blurts out. The garb of merchants native to their homeland andnthe dialect spoken forces a flush of memories into her mind.  
  
The younger one nods. "From Yi Ti."  
  
 _Yi Ti. The southern region. Are they partitioning the realm now?_  
  
"Have you been there before?" The merchant asks.  
  
 _I was born there. My father raised me to be a young bride but then made me be a scribe when my brothers left to do their will. I served under the Amethyst Empress herself and witnessed how Her Radiance was murdered in cold blood by her own brother, beneath a crimson sky._  
  
"Once. Some time ago."  
  
The younger one nods again. She clasps her hands behind her back and bites her lip, eyes looking to the tips of her boots, to the bazaars hidden in heavy fog. Ku Hai-Te knows that look. She's worn it on her face before. The expression one dons when they want to say something but have no idea where to begin.  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
The young woman looks to her again and squares her shoulders.  
  
"Sun Wu-Kon."  
  
"Why are you in Asshai?"  
  
Sun Wu-Kon frowns at the question but not in annoyance at being asked. There's a fire in her eyes, something Ku Hai-Te senses as a deep and secret emotion that's been locked up within the depths of her heart and threatens to boil out.  
  
"To learn."  
  
-  
  
It's difficult to move lately without upsetting her joints and fragile lungs. Her face hurts more than ever, even with the absence of cold winds, so she permanently wraps a red scarf around her head, shielding her mouth and nose, trying to keep her eyes from watering all the time. She still has to earn her daily meals however, so she keeps her kiosk open almost throughout the entire day, offering her services as a book keeper, translator, and even in divination.  
  
At night, when she closes shop, she bleeds over the glass candle to take in the visions the obsidian shows her. The mighty trapezoidal gate looms over still, colossal and terrible. But this time, before she can see it fully open, the vision blurs and cuts off. She sees hints of a red lacquered mask but no eyes peeking back from behind the wood, and when that image flickers out, she sees weak hints of a golden rod and a monkey's tail.  
  
Ku Hai-Te frowns. Why are the visions changing? Why can she no longer see the mouths of fire, the winged beasts and the purple eyed maiden? She bled every day, rendering her palms to ribbons and the flints she acquired lit perfectly fine. Could it have been her purpose? Was her heart having it's doubts of what it wanted to see? She wished her purple masked tutor could be here to answer her questions, but she had not been able to locate the hunched maegi since she learned how to see. She figured she must have vanished in the shadows.  
  
-  
  
Sun Wu-Kon visits her kiosk one day, bringing with her a basket of produce from across the Jade sea. When she turns to look at her, curved on her stool, hand barely closing around her brush, she winces.  
  
"You look worse for wear, auntie." She comments. The younger one isn't much for tact, but Ku Hai-Te can't bring herself to scold her, less be mad. It's true, after all. She's been feeling sicker and much more exhausted as of late. She awoke today with a violent coughing fit that almost made her expire on her pallet. Adrenaline forced her to dunk her head in a barrel of drinkable water and gulp down as much as she could, but just barely. Her exhaustion is such that she never stood to light her lanterns, forcing her to sit in darkness, trying to put ink on parchment.  
  
Sun Wu-Kon reaches inside her basket and pulls out a yellow fruit that fits in the palm. She peels it, extracting a tangy aroma and breaks apart the food inside with her fingers.  
  
"Open your mouth." She tells her, offering a slice. Ku Hai-Te stares behind her scarf.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Feeding you." The younger woman insists. "I don't think you've been eating lately and I'm worried about you."  
  
A sweet sentiment, even if too familiar. Ku Hai-Te examines her carefully, spying for ulterior motives behind her gesture but she only sees good intent. She takes the fruit slice between her fingers and puts it in her mouth. Sweet, citrus taste graces her tastebuds and she is grateful to the younger woman looking after her.  
  
They sit together, eating foreign fruit (Ku Hai-Te is incredulous to how famished she truly is), with Sun Wu-Kon telling her this and that about the efforts of her journey to the shadow city. She confesses that the ambiance frightened her at the beginning but would take the gloom of Asshai anyday before being sent away to the Gray Waste, where anyone who mildly upsets the Emperor is sent to die. She tells her the caravan she joined to come here is actually formed by escaped prisoners and refugees disguised as merchants, looking to escape the cruelty of Bloodstone's men. They wish to cross the Jade sea south, to the shores of Ulthos, and hopefully sail west from there.  
  
"We can't move until we fill our ship with food and gold." Sun Wu-Kon laments. "Which is why we're stranded here, doing our best to gather resources."  
  
Ku Hai-Te says nothing to that. _To go west you must first go east._ The words reverberate in her mind and her eyes go glassy.  
  
"Maybe you can come with us. The sun might do you good."  
  
Again, she says nothing.  
  
-  
  
The visions flicker out more frequently. The trapezoid door looms but this time it remains closed. A quick view of the red mask crosses her line of sight but what she can gather from the image is faded and soon the projected light returns to the candle, leaving her shrouded in familiar darkness.  
  
She grits her teeth and sighs in frustration, wrapping her cloak tight around her shivering bones. Before, the candle showed her visions so clear she could visualize each and every detail but now, all she saw lately were off colored wisps before the dragonglass candle flickered out completely.  
  
She closes her eyes, thinking up ways to see at least one clear vision, not willing to give up just yet.  
  
 _Heart comes first. Truth. To see is to look at truth just at it is. Then is blood. To have something, I must first give in return. Finally light. Embers within the shrouds of uncertainty are as the sun._  
  
She opens her eyes again, and the thought of Sun Wu-Kon comes to her mind.  
  
 _When we first met she told me she came to Asshai to learn. Learn what? But then she told me she came to escape. So which is the truth?_  
  
Ku Hai-Te ponders these thoughts, burying her nose behind the warmth of her scarf. Frowning, she reaches for the dragonglass candle again.  
  
 _What are you not saying, girl?_ She pricks her thumb with the candle this time, a single drop of blood rolling down its jagged edges. She stikes the flint and touches the flame to the tip.  
  
Yellow light floods the room and she takes in the vision.  
  
Sun Wu-Kon holds a golden staff in her hand; fire in her grip and the monkey's tail of her hat waving at her back. Around her, swords aflame rise with her cry, and the golden army gallops towards a void so black, Ku Hai-Te fears they'll be swallowed. She sees the pale face of the Bloodstone emperor, his vacant eye hole seems to devour all around him. His army of wretched creatures clash against the golden warriors and from the front line, Sun Wu-Kon leaps into blackened sky, staff over her head; a sole golden star, set to strike the dark emperor down.  
  
Ku Hai-Te breaks into a violent coughing fit and the vision vanishes with a gust.  
  
 _No, no, no!_ She coughs into her hand, tears spilling from her eyes, blood dripping down her nose and metal tasting spittle splashing against her palm. She doubles over, pain traversing throughout all her bones, her skull threatening to split. _What happens afterwards? What happens to Sun Wu-Kon? Why can't I see beyond that?_  
  
Panic and adrenaline has her crawl over the floor. She tears off the lid of her water barrel, cupping tepid liquid in her hands and drinks. Droplets roll down her chin, and splash agaisnt her clothes and floor. Her hands tremble with so much force, she fears they will break off and the coughing is reluctant to cease.  
  
 _Please, I don't want to die! I can't die. I beg someone save me!_  
  
As if reading her thoughts, the bleakness of her quarters lights up with a faint, orange glow. Her breathing stabilizes slowly, but surely, and she struggles to turn around.  
  
"You cannot see beyond the vision because you're dying." The stooped, purple masked maegi tells her.  
  
She holds a lantern in her bony hand. The flame within dances in a manner that makes it seem like the carved mouth moves.  
  
"And you won't be able to see anymore... Unless you rekindle your life's fire."  
  
Ku Hai-Te pants, blood crusting above her lips, cold sweat drenching her forehead.  
  
"How..." she is too exhausted to even speak. To even think. "How do I do that?"  
  
The maegi lifts her wooden face.  
  
"Come with me to Stygai."


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stygai's gate is a trapezoid door, as a wink to the Shining Trapezohedron from Lovecraft's "The Haunter of The Dark", which is used to communicate with Nyarlathotep.

_"Stygai?" Ku Hai-Te rasps. She is too exhausted to stand. "Is there other way?"_  
  
 _"Not in your current state."_  
  
 _"But there are all manner of healers here." Her voice is pleading. "Surely, they can cure my ailments."_  
  
 _The purple mask shrugs. "You're free to do as you will, but the poison is already in you."_  
  
 _"Poison?"_  
  
 _"The black air of Asshai has claimed you. Have you never wondered why neither children nor animals inhabit the city? Nothing is ever born here. Life cannot thrive here."_  
  
 _A chill runs down Ku Hai-Te's spine. Has she truly stayed here for too long? Eighteen years as a lifetime... Had she even planned to leave anyway?_  
  
 _"But," she still argues. "Stygai? That's a city for demons, dragons and corpses."_  
  
 _The seems to amuse the purple masked maegi, bur she throws her head back and laughs._  
  
 _"Do you not see, Ku Hai-Te? You are a corpse."_  
  
-  
  
The oily cobblestones transition into uneven ground the further they walk out of the city. Asshai may be gloomy, perpetually shrouded in a bleak haze, its temples, bazaars and walls swallowing all light that enters, but the further they leave, the land becomes even stranger.  
  
The Ash glows in a bizarre green, its poisonous, phosphorescent waters being the sole familiarity Ku Hai-Te and her tutor have as they traverse the valley. From its murky depths, silhouettes of deformed and terrible fish can be spotted, too terrible to look at.  
  
Ku Hai-Te wraps her cloak tighter round her shoulders and focuses on the ground at her toes instead, to drive away the dreadful shapes from her mind.  
  
Winds howl with the voice of beasts and overhead Ku Hai-Te witnesses something akin to massive leathery wings open and fly away. Either a giant bat or a dragon. Her eyes water with the sudden chill. She blinks away the tears and thinks of the vision about Sun Wu-Kon.  
  
She held a staff of golden flame in her hands, high above her head. The army at her back was also gold and their flaming swords emitted a reassuring warmth when they clashed against the beasts of the night. The demons crumpled like desert sand at the touch of fire blades. The Bloodstone Emperor's gaping eye hole threatened to swallow all around him, but for a moment, light seemed to rise in a wave that would overpower him, Sun Wu-Kon at the very front. Until the image flickered out, leaving Ku Hai-Te with a sense of dread.

 _Whoever succeeds me will need your help to guide them._ Distant wind whispers in the Amethyst Empress's voice.

Did Sun Wu-Kon manage to bring the dawn back to the Empire? Is she supposed to? Or was she swallowed whole? Why wouldn't the candle show her the end of the vision? What was Ku Hai-Te lacking that she could not see the light shining at the other side?  
  
"Though your spirit's flame burns on, your body is failing." The mask tells her as if reading her mind. Ku Hai-Te is pulled back to her reality. "In Stygai you will rectify that failure. We're here."  
  
When the mask nods, Ku Hai-Te looks on and her heart stops at her throat.  
  
A massive trapezoidal gate stands before them, amongst ancient ruins. It is leagues and leagues wide, she cannot see what lies beyond from any side, and it's terrible height looms above murky clouds and faint stars; she cannot hope to see the top. Bizarre symbols she has never seen before in any scroll are carved into the doors, swirling ever upwards and losing themselves in the bleak heavens. A sense of uneasiness overtakes her the longer she looks at the glyphs and the further she leans back her head, a dizzying feeling crawls up the back of her eyes, threatening to make her tumble backwards. Even the gates seem to sway back and forth, and for a wild second she believes they will crumble over her until she's crushed.  
  
"Still your heart." Her tutor tells her, placing a bony hand on her shoulder. She flinches with a gasp.  
  
"Beyond this gate lies the corpse city. From here on you must go alone."  
  
Ku Hai-Te swirls her head to the stooped maegi, disbelief awash her sallow features.  
  
"Alone? You'd have me cross the threshold and have me face whatever... _things_ I find across by my lonesome?" She almost trips back. "No. I refuse! I've seen a terrible darkness in my visions of this place. I want to go back."  
  
"You already went back. Now it is time to move forward."  
  
Ku Hai-Te stumbles away from the gate and the purple mask until a terrible cough overwhelms her and makes her collapse to her knees. She bones rattle, her skull tightens and bloodied spittle spills from her mouth. The pain is worse then from before and she doubles down into herself. Water blurs her vision and blood flows from her nostrils onto her lips.  
  
"What is it that you seek, Ku Hai-Te?" The maegi asks. "Why have you left your homeland for the shadow?"  
  
Ku Hai-Te's coughing doesn't cease. Her insides burn like coals, making her claw at her skin for support. The Ash glows faintly and in panic, she pulls courage and strength where there's none, and drags herself to its bank.  
  
 _Water. I need water._  
  
The geound below her nails is slimy, much more unpleasant than the oily black stone of Asshai. The stench of sulfur fills her nose and only makes her cough harder.  
  
 _The Ash is poison._  
  
Her lungs are empty and fear forces her shaking hands to cup the water below. The taste of rotten eggs and flint smoke fill her mouth and a wave of nausea threatens to overtake her; still she drinks. Swallowing down the Ash until her coughing ceases.  
  
 _I will die for sure._  
  
"I ask again," the maegi says. She stands as still as a stooped stone by the gates of Stygai. "What is it that you seek?"  
  
"To live." Ku Hai-Te's voice is a broken croak. Tears roll down her face. "I want to live and see the dawn."  
  
A terrible rumbling shakes the foundations of the earth with a thunderous groan. Pebbles bounce off into the green river and she throws herself backward. The giant gate stands ajar. Behind it, she can only see pitch black.  
  
"Then enter." The mask tells her. "For only corpses may go in."  
  
Ku Hai-Te struggles to stand and teeters close to the massive door. Her feeble fingers wrap around her black hoops and her red scarf hangs askew.  
  
"But what comes out?" She asks but when she looks over her shoulder, the purple mask is gone.  
  
She swallows, foul taste still lodged in her tongue and between her teeth. Mustering what little strength and courage she has, she pulls the massive door open and steps inside.  
  
She cannot see, she cannot hear. The void is so disorienting that she cannot tell up from down, left from right. Even the sulfur in her taste buds has vanished and for a while Ku Hai-Te believes herself dead.  
  
 _You already went back._ A disembodied voice echoees in her mind and around her. _Now you must move forward._  
  
So she does. She walks on air, on void for what feels like a millennia. And then a chilling wind blows through her hair and fingertips and her eyes start to water. Shadows slither between her legs and the earth rumbles and fissures. Panic overwhelms her but when she tries to move, she falls down, down, down.  
  
"Stop." She wails but no one is there to answer. Silence is broken by murmurs of all the voices she's heard before, and the murmurs turn to a buzzing, and the buzzing to a cacophony so loud it swallows her.  
  
 _You already went back. Now you must move forward._  
  
Ku Hai-Te breathes in and embraces the fall, tears dripping upwards.  
  
 _What is it that you want?_ Asks a booming voice, amongst the cacophony. Each letter pronounced by echoes of people from her past.  
  
"To live." She yells back. "And see the dawn."  
  
 _And how will you pay for it?_  
  
She closes her eyes and opens her arms.  
  
"With my death." She replies. "For only death may pay for life."  
  
 _So be it._  
  
The fall stops, and she stands suspended, surrounded by thousands of bright stars that soon burst loudly and violently. Thunder goes through her body, breaking her bones one by one. Lighting tears her flesh to ribbons. Star pieces do away at her tissues and the heat evaporates her blood and sweat into a cloud of smoke. A red tendril hanging from her neck spins and spins round her face and when she finally discards her body, agony gives itself away to a newly found power. She binds the lightning and starburst within her with shadows, and uses the night sky as her hood. Finally, she twists the scarf into a solid mask, as red as the rising sun, placing it where her face used to be.

Glassy, wet eyes blink open.  
  
-  
  
Sun Wu-Kon finds the kiosk empty, save for extinguised lanterns lying on the corners of the room, brushes discarded over a pallet, a water tankard with no lid and a strange candle like object made of black glass. Her caravan will be going soon and she came to say her farewells to the scribe. That, and hand her a vial of medicine she traded for fruit at the ports. Probably won't heal her but at least, the pain will be easier to handle.  
  
 _I just pray I made it in time._  
  
She will have to go soon and the scribe is nowhere to be found. Sighing, she puts the vial down on the desk and turns to leave.  
  
An imposing figure stands by the door frame. Sun Wu-Kon gasps and holds her legs apart.

The figure is tall, shrouded in a dark hood and wears a red lacquered mask that seems to swirl to and from the glassy eyes behind it. She knows full well the type of sorcerers that don such garments.  
  
"The scribe isn't here." Sun Wu-Kon tells the shadowbinder. "And I was just leaving."  
  
"I know." The masked woman nods. Her glassy eyes stare at her, keeping her where she stands.  
  
Discomfort crawls up her neck and she shifts her weight. She opens her mouth to say something but the maegi steps aside, away from the door. Sun Wu-Kon wastes no time and quickens her steps towards the exit, but stops before crossing the threshold.  
  
Looking over her shoulder, she observes the red mask extending a gloved hand, leather fingertips tracing the sharp ridges of the glass trinket.  
  
"She was very sick." She tells the stranger.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Do you know any healing arts? If you can, help her please. I have to go soon, but" Sun Wu-Kon twists her lips and pats her pockets down. "I have some gold on me. Of perhaps you might want spices? I-"  
  
"That won't be necessary." The maegi says, lifting the candle close to her mask. Shiny eyes twinkle despite the darkness if the room. "Her bodily remains were laid to rest."  
  
Sun Wu-Kon's neck goes cold and her arms fall to her side.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Silence falls between them.  
  
Even without having properly known the scribe, to see her meager belongings scattered about in a dim room she will never visit again, makes her heart heavy. She looks back to the medicine flask on the abandoned desk and slowly moves to take it back. Her trip will be long and difficult and all manner of resources are always needed...  
  
She swipes at her eyes and sniffs.  
  
"Why do you cry?" The figure asks her.  
  
"She was a refugee from the same place I came from. At least, I think she was. Now she won't come back."  
  
The mask sighs. "I said her bodily remains were put to rest. I never said she expired."  
  
Sun Wu-Kon looks up, mouth agape and cheeks damp.  
  
"What-"  
  
The maegi takes the glass candle and pockets it within her veil. Familiar, wet eyes look back at her.  
  
"You will be returning home, won't you? Sun Wu-Kon, exile of the Great Empire. Herald of the dawn. Let me join my lot with you."  
  
Sun Wu-Kon opens and closes her mouth like a fish. Hundreds of questions swim in her mind yet only two make it past her lips.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
The maegi nods. "Quaithe. Of the Shadow."  
  
"Why do you want to join me?"

Quaithe laughs, muffled by her red, wooden face.  
  
"I, too, wish to see the dawn."


End file.
